It is so cold that I can feel the ice fragments of my frozen breath sticking on my eyelids. My skin is tight underneath my shirt; my muscles are a storm of contractions and dilatations, a number close to infinite per second. My lenses are focusing and de-focusing, trying to convince my body to search earnestly beyond this point. My hands are clenched tight to this fence, this metal fence; my body – stitched closely and strongly through strings of ice and collagen, all sewn into the strongest string, one that cannot be reproduced by human hands. Why it cannot be reproduced? You see, once your body manages to create such a mischief – it means that you are close to de-humanization.
My contractions increase in intensity and number until my lenses are unable to focus on anything else aside from what lies beyond the fence. My hands tighten, struggling to break the frozen metal. Shit! It must be titanium, I should’ve expected it! No wonder all the books and myths say that it is impossible to surpass your destiny.
But I press myself tighter, tighter, tighter, until my lungs collapse, as my breath whirls and blackens into the smoke that I have never inhaled; my muscles unite their fibres into one; my heart twists to be able to fit through the holes.
A painful signal is transmitted through my body, similar to a first orgasm, as I finally manage to dematerialize myself and to see what I have always wanted to see: Freedom!
Was it worth it?